The Cautious Do Not Live at All
I heard this line in a movie and it had an impact on me at a time in my life where I was living so far from my true self. I had abandoned so much of me I was unrecognizable. I was a ghost, a shell, and I am grateful for the realization that if I didn’t get out, I may no longer exist. I WAS able to get out of the situation, and upon the rebuild of myself I came to see I was living with so much fear.
Fear is such a powerful emotion. It is a power source. It can fuel change, action, withdraw or it can absolutely paralyze you.
Have you ever felt that visceral feeling of tingles, numbness, body paralysis, breath taking, core stopping, choking FEAR! It is such a real sensation and yet so controllable if we learn how to manage it in our lives. Managing fear allows us movement towards new thoughts, new goals.
In order to make changes in our lives it is so important to address this powerful emotion, acknowledge it, feel it, honor it for it’s strength and presence, and put the f-er in its place.
If one wants to make a change, fear can either motivate or stop you in your tracks. I’ve thought a lot about fear, wrestled with it and in all honesty continue to be faced with situations that provide me the opportunity to further face my fears. They run deep and are rooted to so many issues. It’s like a tree with branches, where the branch represents a time or situation that validated a fear. A loss of a relationship, a deception, divorce, loss of job, financial struggle, death, loss of faith, it can be anything that personally attaches that feeling for you.
What does that really mean though? Face your fears? For many years I have gravitated to facing my fears and walking through them to represent COURAGE. I like that scenario. I don’t believe courage exists without a bit of fear.
But what is at the root of fear and how does that block change? I have often heard, fear is the lack of love. As I sit here in the dark of night, I’m not sure I can subscribe to this thought. I’m not sure there is a lack of love in fear but perhaps a desire for love.
When we look to change a behavior or a thought, we are taking a risk and in that risk exists uncertainty of the outcome. Whether looking to lose weight…can I achieve, will I have different results than in the past; or in a relationship…I’m going to trust and open my heart, will I be hurt or disappointed or elated and loved; in a career choice….I’m going to follow my dream, will there be a financial reward or will I fail.
We look to take risks, but often they can be very calculated, so we can receive the outcome we desire. Is that a risk? Or are we being cautious?
Fear has so much to do with the “what if’s” in life. What if my dream fails? What if I am not loved back? What if I get the same result? What if, what if, what if?
Don’t be cautious. Live in the moment and with your truest self. Love because you must love. Dream because you must dream. Act because you must act. Be because you are not able to do different.
What happens if we throw abandon to the wind, so to speak, live on the edge. One of my favorite movie moments is in Indiana Jones 3, when he is seeking the Holy Grail and one of the tasks is to take a leap of faith. There is a channel he must cross but he see’s no path. He must step before he sees the bridge, a leap of faith. Isn’t that what living with true abandon is? A leap of faith! The polar opposite of faith? Could it be fear? Is it in the “I believe” that change can be possible?
Today I am willing to set goals I haven’t achieved, or even been willing to state out loud because I am willing to live. Today I am willing to say I will love even when love is not being returned because I am willing to live. Today I will start something new even if I am afraid because I will not live with caution.
Today I will live, I must live, I choose to live!